Why is it that among brothers and sisters, the eldest is often the most selfish?

The traditional view is that the eldest in a family is generally more responsible. Because the eldest brother is the oldest of the brothers and sisters, he often takes the initiative to help his parents share some family responsibilities, and also takes care of his younger brother and sister, so he is more sensible. However, in today’s view, this rule may not be correct. Some even suggest that the eldest brother is often the most selfish among brothers and sisters. What kind of psychological laws are hidden behind this phenomenon?

First of all, the attention given by parents will affect the child’s character. With the opening of the two-child policy, many families have more than one child. Different from previous times, the eldest brother no longer needs to help his parents take on some livelihood tasks, some even spoiled, not only with the care of his parents, but also with the care of his grandparents.

Be concerned about

For the eldest, as the first child in the big family, it is undoubtedly the elder who pays the highest attention. As soon as they are born, they can get all their parents’ love without sharing this selfless love with others. As a younger brother and sister born later, the situation is different. After they are born, they need to share their love from their elders with the eldest in the family. Naturally, they receive less attention than the eldest.

From the point of view of parents, when they raise their first child, they are very careful because of their lack of experience, hoping to give the best care to the child and meet the needs of the child as much as possible. When they have a second child, they are no longer novice parents, so they will devote less energy to take care of the second child. Therefore, this has caused the eldest brother to be the most loved one before the second child was born, and his family will try their best to meet his needs, which also makes the eldest brother more selfish.

Self – centeredness

Second, the boss will have more ” self – centeredness”. From the child’s own psychological point of view, the eldest brother does not need to share his toys and parents’ company with his brothers and sisters in the early childhood. Therefore, they will have the feeling that his family are all around him, which makes him more willing to look at the problem from his own perspective and ignore the feelings of other peers.

On the contrary, children born later need to share toys with their elder brothers or sisters, and even some parents will continue to give the eldest brother’s clothes and daily necessities to the second child in order to save the raising cost. The second child growing up in this atmosphere will feel that they are not the only child. They will share everything with their elder brothers and sisters. Therefore, they will consider the feelings of their brothers and sisters and understand that others will not spoil themselves.

In addition, in adulthood, the eldest brother is often more selfish. Because in the process of raising, parents tend to give the best resources to the first child. This is a normal psychological concept of people, who will think that good things should be tried first. For example, when making a decision, it will provide the first child with reading, spend a lot of time and money, and give the first child better educational resources as far as possible.

When the second child reaches the same age, the parents may not be able to afford the same conditions. Therefore, the eldest brother’s growth environment is often more pampered, which also makes them think more about themselves, to maximize their own interests and form selfish personality traits.