Why do we have more, but less happiness?

Why do we have more, but less happiness?

Because, we have passed our life into a “limited game of life.”

What is a “limited game”?

According to the definition of philosopher and religious researcher James Cass, limited games are games that are designed to win and continue to play within the boundaries. For example, society is a limited game, and the purpose of social development is to obtain titles and gain power. War is also a limited game. The purpose of war is to plunder more resources and gain more power.

So what is the life of a limited game?

“Life in a limited game” refers to a life that is aimed at winning or better than the people around you, and has always lived within the boundaries of mainstream social values.

Such a life is precisely the life that most of us are living.

When we didn’t understand anything, we were put into a “limited game” by parents and teachers called “Let’s study hard, try hard to take the first”. Every game has a ranking and there are winners.

Later, the game became more and more serious. From the beginning of the early days to the beginning, to the college entrance examination, every game made us and our parents. Therefore, in such a round of increasingly serious “limited games”, we finally forgot our curiosity and exploration of this vast world, and finally lost in the pursuit of the game win or lose.

After going to college, we suddenly had time to study and play and fall in love. However, in the third year of the junior year, it was discovered again that there is a more serious “limited game” outside the university called “See who can find a good job” is waiting for us. So I suddenly realized that I was immediately involved in the wave of postgraduate entrance exams, GRE exams, and preparation for a written interview.

Finally, we finally found a job that looked pretty good. However, before we even took a breather, we started another round of “limited games.” The name of the game is called: “See who is promoted early, see who earns more, see who lives in the house, who to see. Wife is more beautiful, see who the child is smarter.” So, we never quit from the “limited game.”

When we first started playing games, the time was still abundant.

At that time, we had dreams, expectations for the future, and the infinite possibilities of life. However, as time goes by, or is entangled in mainstream values, or active, we are plunging into time-limited “limited games”, turning the infinite possibilities we once had into the only way.

Choices are becoming more and more important and more and more difficult. We often have a sense of crisis that is inadvertent and full of losses.

When we are young, we can easily make decisions about falling in love, changing jobs, and going abroad. However, as the age increases, the opportunity cost of making each decision is increasing day by day. We believe that we must not continue to be willful, but should have been to “should…” life. So, when still far from the end of life, most of us have decided our final outcome.

In this process, we have made our life exactly the same, and we have gradually lived into the same kind of person: that is to win or to be better than the people around us, and always be within the boundaries of mainstream social values. people.

So, we are constantly reincarnation in a “limited game” that is very difficult to win but must not lose. And that’s why we have more and more things, but we get less and less happiness.

We have already limited our life to a small box. In this box, even if we often struggle and break through, we can’t jump out and be free.

However, who is this choice?

Still not ourselves?

If we want to jump out of the “box” defined by life, how can we live a lifetime?

The answer is: use the “unlimited game” way to live a lifetime.

What is the biggest difference between “life of limited games” and “life of unlimited games”?

· Limited games for the purpose of winning, unlimited games for the purpose of continuing the game.

· The nature of finiteness and infinity is boundless. In order to win, the participants of the limited game voluntarily set themselves a lot of boundaries in a limited time, and voluntarily gave up part of their freedom. The participants of the infinite game will extend the time to a lifetime. They do not aim at winning or losing. Instead, they actively carry out various infinite games to achieve a state of fundamental freedom.

· The key of the game is limited: the participants agree to these rules, so that these final rules take effect. What is the rule? It is the mainstream value.

· The game is serious, and the infinite game is fun. Participants in the infinite game are not serious actors in all stories, but rather happy poets.

If you want to spend a lifetime in an infinite game, you have to do the following three things: eliminate time and space boundaries, eliminate character boundaries, and modify rules.

If you can use the entire life as a time limit for playing games, instead of limiting it to “January” or “Year”, or limiting it must be reached at the age of 30, 35, or restricted to ” I am just a college graduate, so I can only know how to do it, “I am a girl, so how should I do it”, “I have to prove myself”, “I must win”, you will find that life can There are so many things to do and what can be done.

If we can really expand the boundaries and explore the boundaries, life will be very different. As James Cass, author of “Limited and Unlimited Games,” said: Limited games are scripted, and unlimited games are legendary.

Because human birth is an innovation, with a legendary nature. And if we want to continue to write this legend, we should live ourselves, tap our treasures, and become our own genius. At this time, our mindset is open, no longer obsessed with winning or losing, and is no longer confined to various boundaries, but is expected to be changed by surprise or surprise, and finally to practice a grand outlook on life.

If you can have and practice a grand outlook on life, what are the hard questions in life?

This is the “life of infinite game”, only it can give us the ultimate freedom.

How do we get started?

First of all, we must understand that all restrictions on limited games are self-restricted. It is that we shield our freedom to some extent in order to play certain limited games. Therefore, the source of the beginning is to break the self-limitation.

Secondly, in order to get rid of the limited games that have long been used, we not only have to convert limited games into infinite games, but also actively design some infinite games for ourselves.

Finally, we must put these infinite games into practice and harvest a grand outlook on life.

Here are the unlimited games for 5 people I designed. Welcome to continue to add.


Infinite Game 1: Exploring Knowledge

Russell once said: “The three passions, simple and extremely strong, dominate my life, that is, the desire for love, the pursuit of knowledge, and the pity for human suffering.”

In general, knowledge can be divided into two categories, one from books and one from practice. The former relies on “reading thousands of books” while the latter relies on “walking thousands of miles” and “reading countless people”. The two are inseparable and important.

Traveling in the ocean of knowledge, the more you learn, the more you will find that knowledge has no boundaries. No matter how hard you try, it will not be enough to pursue your knowledge for a lifetime. But this process is extremely enjoyable and hard to give up. In the exploration of knowledge, we will become humble without knowing it, because we know that “a mountain has a mountain high”, we will become more and more extensive, because learning knowledge in different fields can have complete Different perspectives.

Therefore, we no longer want to do “limited games”, compete for the first, compare all day long, we only want to be more profound and more abundant than the past.


Unlimited game 2: the pursuit of wisdom

Wisdom and knowledge are not the same.

Ancient Greek proverbs say that you get understanding from everything you experience. This understanding is the so-called wisdom.

So, what kind of understanding is wisdom?

It is a combination of intelligence, knowledge, experience, and judgment, and in some way forms an understanding of integration. In other words, a person who integrates everything he experiences and forms his own experience and insights is wisdom.

Wisdom is harder to repair than knowledge. Because we have no experience, thinking and practice, what we get is always nothing but scattered knowledge and methodology. When faced with major problems and choices, you will find them vulnerable.

Many years ago, I wrote an article titled “Becoming a happy pig or a painful Socrates?” “, the article discusses why you know the pain but still want to gain wisdom. In fact, since then, I have clearly understood that on the way to wisdom, confusion and pain are inevitable. However, compared with the happiness of ignorance, I prefer the former.

This picture is a different level of knowledge, from the bottom of the “data” layer to the top of the “wisdom layer”, you need experience, thinking and practice to achieve access. This is undoubtedly an infinite game.


Unlimited game 3: yearning for beauty

Why is the yearning for beauty also an infinite game?

Because beauty is everywhere, and the pursuit of beauty is endless.

The beauty of art is a shudder from the depths of the soul. It is a free expression of life, a liberation and breakthrough that never stops. The beauty of nature is the source of the beauty of art, the vivid life and strength.

Whenever I stand in a foreign museum and art gallery, look at Michelangelo’s sculpture, Botticelli’s paintings, or go to see a special exhibition of Chinese painting and calligraphy, look at Zhao Mengfu’s words, Huang Gongwang The paintings will feel the shudder from the depths of the soul. Every year, I spend a lot of time going to see exhibitions in various places. In these exhibitions, I have exchanged souls with the masters once and for all, feeling their attachment to beauty, love for life, or indifferent to fame and fortune. The observation of life.

This kind of communication and experience has deeply affected my life, and she has undergone a qualitative change, which makes me more sensitive to beauty, more passionate about love, and a deeper and more vivid understanding of life.

Therefore, when the spring arrives, I will use the theme of “Spring Comes” to insert a bunch of flowers that belong to spring alone. In the summer, I will give myself a dessert with a humanistic atmosphere and a quiet mood.

And such a yearning and pursuit is truly endless.


Infinite Game 4: Awareness and Exploration of Self

Krishnamurti wrote in the book “Learning in Life”: “The ignorant is not a person without knowledge, but a person who does not know himself. Understanding is from self-awareness, and self-awareness, It is a person who understands his whole mind. Therefore, the true meaning of education (or learning) is self-understanding. So the ultimate goal of people is to seek understanding of themselves.”

In addition to self-awareness, we must explore ourselves, because “I” is not fixed, and the potential and energy of “I” is far more profound and far-reaching than we have seen so far.

After years of exploration and continuous learning, I discovered two ways to “know myself.”

One is inward self-awareness, and the other is continuous experimentation and exploration. It means to say: through a piece of real experience, repeated attempts and explorations, repeated emotional reactions, self-awareness from different dimensions, and gradually draw the appearance of “I” and understand Real and multifaceted.

The two methods of “inward self-awareness” and “continuous attempt and exploration outward” are by no means isolated. On the contrary, they must be combined into one. Without the former, the latter’s attempt and exploration can only become an experience, but can not be precipitated as thinking and understanding of oneself. If the latter is missing, the former will become “the source of no rice” and “the source of no water.”

The self we know is one, but not one. Because there are two selfs here, one is “the present self” and the other is the “possible self.” “The present self” is “Who am I?”, and “Possible self” is “What kind of look can I be in the future?”

Whether it is the former or the latter, it is worthwhile for us to explore for a lifetime.


Unlimited game 5: Help for others

Fu Zhen, the author of “The Unruly Boat”, went to India’s “Dying House” to volunteer, and she wrote some real stories in the book:

“A Hong Kong girl studying in the United States has been to volunteer in Kolkata seven times, and even the University has a special minor in Hindi. After graduating from college, she finally returned to live here and worked for an NGO (non-profit organization). She teaches at the local elementary school. She goes to work from Monday to Saturday, but she is not idle for the only rest day. She comes to the dying house every Sunday. She said: ‘It is more fun to work here than to rest at home. …..'”

She is right. When helping others, we can feel the energy flowing between us and others. This kind of energy is so warm and beautiful that it can both eliminate their pain and resolve our uneasiness.

Usually, I also provide one-on-one coaching counseling to visitors. In the process, visitors will feel empowered. When I feel that the status of the visitors is getting better, I will be empowered. It feels really good.

There are too many people in this world who need help, including spiritual and physical, physical and spiritual. To be exact, it should be in this world that no one needs help. Therefore, helping others is definitely something that can be done in a lifetime.

In the long journey of life

The most daunting path is the road to your heart.

But it is also the most worthwhile road to go back

The toughest game is unlimited game

But it is also the most worth living