When it comes to cold violence, it is actually not too strange for people in marriage. Because in marriage, all kinds of irremediable contradictions will appear due to the inharmonious emotions, incompatible thoughts, unsynchronized behaviors and unsmooth communication.
However, conflicts and conflicts cannot find a way to solve the problem. Naturally, they are not pleasing to the eye of the other party, and they are more reluctant to let the other party have the final say. They have become soft bones bent on settling their differences. Therefore, they will treat each other coldly in words and actions, ignore each other’s existence, refuse to contact with each other’s various body parts, and even fail to fulfill their obligations as wives and husbands. Make the other side passively live in this lifeless and lifeless atmosphere. Moreover, once this kind of behavior has become a means to coerce and compromise the other party, it is bound to intensify. From the first few hours to the next ten days and a half months, even some couples have no communication and contact for several months, but the real life of couples. This is what people refer to as cold violence. Use methods such as silence, disregard and refusal to contact to isolate yourself from the other party, forming a relatively closed space atmosphere and automatically shielding everything from the other party.
Cold violence is manifested in verbal communication. Communication with each other has dropped to the lowest point, and we can try our best not to talk, because if we feel that we are not speculating, we may have heated arguments, intensified contradictions, and finally it will be difficult to end. Therefore, people who are cold and violent in speech are often not good at verbal expression and are more reluctant to argue endlessly. Therefore, they hope to calm down and analyze the problem rationally. In this way, one will not say that one is too regretful when feeling anxious. People who do this often have a kind of evasive and negative psychology. They have limited ability and can’t find a way to solve the problem. They can only resist each other by not talking.
Cold violence is manifested in two extreme forms of behavior.
One is to use force to make big moves. Not only men have such behaviors, but also women have such perpetrators. Once they get angry, they beat each other to death.
On the other hand, they are indifferent to others and ignore them. As for what the other party has done, they are totally ungrateful, ungrateful and will never show their kindness. More serious, some people will refuse the other party several times in sex. Do not fulfill the lawful obligations of husband and wife, deprive each other of sexual rights and requirements. It seems that he feels it is quite cruel to punish and sanction the other party in this way, especially for those who need more in this respect. Therefore, he will use this as a threat to achieve the final compromise of the other party. People who feel like this do not understand that sex is originally an extremely sweet thing and a necessary love supply for couples. Don’t understand, because there are contradictions, can’t solve, just use self-imposed aggressive submission, that is a kind of performance of extremely incompetent.
There is also the most cruel kind of invisible cold violence, ignoring each other’s existence. Although they live under one roof, they are divided into houses and beds. You live your world, I live my life, when each other is like air, do not interfere with each other. Such a long-term unfamiliar state, a marriage in name only. It is a great harm to people’s spirit, making the whole people stressed and depressed. Men and women in such an atmosphere are often the kind of people who have to face up to death and suffer. Clearly, the existence of marriage is meaningless, but they are unable to let go. Because, face, financial conditions, parents … no matter for their own reasons, or external conditions, can let them independent from the marriage. Therefore, we can only live helplessly in the cold violence of this spirit.
Through psychological analysis, it is not difficult to find that these perpetrators have certain psychological characteristics. Inferiority, hatred of the opposite sex, strong control desire, possession and dependence, no distinction between man and me, no distinction between inside and outside, no trust in others. All of these have led to problems that cannot be solved well with civilized methods. They can only rely on physical strength or isolation from contact with each other, ignoring each other’s existence and safeguarding themselves and protecting themselves. However, these abusers often have regrets in their hearts after committing violence. However, if they encounter problems again, they will still use this method to solve them. As the saying goes, habits become natural and will not change after repeated teaching, resulting in unimaginable consequences.
In fact, cold violence always accounts for a large proportion of negative factors for emotions. There are problems and contradictions between husband and wife. To find a way to communicate, a certain period of cold treatment may make each other rational and sort out the problems clearly. However, a long period of cold war will make the other party’s love for you suddenly drop in temperature. If the other person’s heart loses its temperature and feeling, it is absolutely extremely difficult for you to heat it up again. Therefore, try not to adopt this method to ease the contradiction in life, because when a certain limit is used, others will resist to the end and will not give you the chance to turn back. For those who use force to solve all problems, when this happens for the first time, it is necessary to let the abuser realize the root of his mistake and prevent the recurrence of his behavior fundamentally. If you can’t be softened, you can forgive immediately. Otherwise, the violence will intensify. Even your life will be affected.