How to get to know a stranger quickly?

In the process of interpersonal communication, the way you get along with the people around you determines whether you can accumulate a large number of contacts in a short period of time and help your career.


Psychologist Erickson believes that when a person faces a stranger, he or she will have a preliminary trust, and handling this trust is an opportunity for you to understand the stranger.

Once the first meeting did not produce good feedback, it would be difficult to establish a deep friendship in the subsequent exchanges. So, when we meet a stranger, how can we get to know him quickly? Most of the time, we can only judge what kind of person each other is through behavior, language and micro – expressions.

Topic selection

In our life, we often meet strangers. When we talk with them, we will have a classification of them in our hearts through our conversation. The diversity of topic choices depends on the speaker’s mentality, and this ability to distinguish the voice of others is your first step in understanding people.

If you are not interested in the topic mentioned by the other party and he is still boasting, this kind of person is generally self-righteous and lacks care for others. If the other party has adopted some methods to attract your attention after observing your distraction or mental state drifting away, then this kind of person is generally gentle and considerate.

Change of expression

Most of the time, we can judge whether a person is mentally unsound by the change of expression in his speech. Of course, this rule is not universal. We need to classify different types of people. Understanding these can make us always take the initiative in the process of interpersonal communication.

When we talk with strangers, if the other person’s eyes wander and dare not look straight into your eyes, then this kind of person is generally mentally ill and preoccupied. If the other person looks at you with bright eyes and is very focused, this person has a strong sense of general responsibility and an open heart. Research on micro-expression psychology has found that after a person has just done something bad, he often does not dare to look directly into each other’s eyes when talking, and this state will last for a long time.

Expose shortcomings

Everyone pursues perfection. We always hope to leave a good impression on each other. It is always difficult for us to admit our shallow knowledge or other shortcomings in front of outsiders. For example, in the recent hot search of Zhai Tianlin, an outstanding actor who has been widely recognized by all, is unwilling to admit his academic weakness, thus humiliating the Chinese academic community by obtaining a doctor’s degree through academic fraud.

Psychologists point out that in the process of interpersonal communication, it is helpful to expose one’s shortcomings properly, and this move can win the trust of the other party. If you find that the person you are talking to is a person who is honest and not afraid to expose his shortcomings, please cherish him.

The establishment of trust is also particularly important to strangers who have nothing to do with each other and have no responsibility or obligation to restrict each other in a single, short-term interpersonal interaction.

In life and work, when talking with strangers, it is inevitable that the other party is inarticulate and full of disdain. At this time, a quick understanding of a stranger is helpful for you to judge in a short period of time whether the person is worth communicating with, and good at observing these three points, so that you can get to know a stranger quickly in the conversation.