Desire is human nature, and its essence is a neutral word, but in life it is given a derogatory sense by us. It is defined as an individual’s extreme desire for something or object. The main body of desire can be human psychology and thoughts, and also include some part of human body structure and structure.
Different people have different desires and needs. Some people have a stronger desire for food, some have a stronger desire for eroticism, some have a stronger desire for psychotropic drugs, and some have a more chasing and craving for spiritual satisfaction and stimulation. Therefore, different desires have different emotional colors and commendatory and derogatory meanings due to the individual characteristics of people.
Most of the time, we measure a person’s success and his ability to control desire. However, for most ordinary people, it is difficult to control desire quickly because of internal factors, external factors and his ability to fight against himself.
Internal factors: including a person’s spirit, psychology and emotion, specifically refers to a person’s internal needs and reality. For example, when we are in good physical and mental condition, our desire to control our diet is relatively simple. The desire to control diet is more difficult in extremely tired and depressed things.
Our ability to fight ourselves: this can be summed up as a person’s volition and self – control. That is to say, when facing the same thing or thing, some people will consume less competition because they are more self – disciplined, while others will fall into a process of self – internal friction, perhaps the final result will be defeated by their own desires.
External factors: Michael Inzlicht, a psychological expert from a Canadian university, conducted an experiment on the choice of desire and temptation for nearly 200 students from a university. after a week of research, he concluded that under the same condition, those students who face more temptation are more difficult to control their desires, while those students who face less temptation are easier to control their desires. This shows that external factors also play a very important role.
So, how should we deal with these three situations? Psychologists believe that the key to fast control of desire is to establish a stable connection with the brain, and suggest starting from three angles.
Take advantage of one’s own free thoughts
We know that a person’s attention is limited, and when the attention is highly concentrated, there will still be free thinking. This is the time to make good use of this free thought. For example, when we want to eat a meal, we can immediately move out of our free thinking and shift our attention to another thing, so that the delicious food in our brain will be replaced by other things.
Establish a self-reward and punishment mechanism
Neuropsychologist dan ariely found that when the human body sends signals to the brain not to bow to desire, the human body and brain are also more difficult to maintain, but if some external constraints and incentives are added, it will be easier to achieve.
For example, there are two people who lose weight. One is to lose weight by himself with his head stuffy, without external interference. The other one has coaches and supervisors who will make various plans for him on a regular basis, then the supervisor will weigh him on a regular basis, and even adjust during the bottleneck period, the result shows that the latter has achieved much more than the former. This shows that there can be external rewards and punishment system intervention, control desire will get twice the result with half the effort.
Develop a good habit of self – discipline
In fact, many people fail not because they are inferior to others, but because they lack self-discipline and self – control. Self – control is always needed in controlling desire. When people use self – control, the prefrontal cortex of the brain will fall into a quite active situation. When we often use self-control to stimulate the prefrontal cortex of the brain, the brain memory will slowly form a habit. This is a perfect cycle.
Therefore, when one cannot effectively control one’s desire, one may as well try these three methods, which may have unexpected effects.