Confusion seems to be a common problem in modern society and has become a “stealth killer” that destroys adults.
In particular, people who are clamped down by tremendous pressure, whether they are entering the workplace, have entered the workplace, or are in the workplace, have said that they are too busy and unable to move, and the days are getting more and more empty.
01 Lost into the workplace, lack of mission education
Lin Qiang graduated from a 211 university in Beijing. He has the ability to be a brain and is an enviable object in the eyes of his classmates.
He himself is very confused, the job interview has a high salary, and there is interest. It stands to reason that either you only look at the money, or focus on interest, you can make a decision soon, but Lin Qiang feels that… is uninteresting.
He remembered that he had been in a small restaurant again and again, and he had a drink with his friends. Is it fun to enjoy drinking and chatting? It doesn’t seem to be.
Rather than drinking, it is better to say that the night is suddenly coming, the confusion that makes the chest boring.
To this end, he tried many ways.
He studies hard like a “good boy” and tests various certificates;
Like “bad students”, they fall in love, play teams, drink big wines, and fight in groups.
However, these things are like one-time fast-moving items, and they are left with nothing to lose.
He didn’t even know why he was going to college and what to do when he left school. Is it a postgraduate or a job? He is very tangled.
After more than ten years of study, I have countless countless formulas, remembered many test sites, and know how to answer the historical significance of an event, but no one has ever taught us: What should you do in the future, how should you pursue your own goals? .
If you can’t find the spiritual belonging, you can’t find the basis for your choice. Naturally, you can’t find the meaning of existence.
Mission education seems to have been intentionally ignored in this era.
02 Entering the workplace, the confusion of single value
My former colleagues Xiao Zhang and Xiao Wang joined the same department in the same period.
Xiao Zhang is active, the first one to come to the last one every day. Corporate activities never fall and are often praised. But if he is promoted and raised, he seems to have a little chance.
The superior is as stable as a rock, not uplifting. After three years of work, Xiao Zhang can only continue to fight at the grassroots level.
Xiao Wang is a typical “not thinking about progress”, punching cards every day. After the leader often praised Xiao Zhang, he would mention the name of Xiao Wang and let him learn from Xiao Zhang.
At this time, Xiao Zhang is sad.
He knew that he had no choice. Born in the countryside, you must be desperate to get a good life.
The salary has risen twice, and the monthly salary has just passed 10,000. Daily expenses, sent back to your hometown, at the end of each month, must be bottomed out, don’t mention buying a house to become a family.
As soon as he thought of the money, Xiao Zhang would be flustered.
Xiao Wang, who is not on the move, holds two suites purchased in Beijing Hukou and the house demolition. The monthly rent is three or four times the salary. Xiao Wang feels that he is more likely to experience life when he goes to work.
But he told me that he was also confused. I often go to high-end clubs and brand stores, and sing K蹦di. Very embarrassed, very excited. Just, the excitement comes quickly, the retreat is fast, and then it is empty.
Is this the life of the future? He didn’t dare to think about it and had to throw himself into the next entertainment.
Xiao Zhang and Xiao Wang’s confusion seem to be the opposite. In essence, they are the aftereffects of single values.
“Xiao Zhang” is far away, trying to cripple and even stretch the neck, just looking at the room. For them, the goal is far from being lost, and they can only die.
The “Little Kings”, more, can not find the meaning of struggling efforts, so copy and paste in the confusion.
03 Into the confusion of the workplace, the busy form of the elite paradigm
Li Jie is my client. She told me that when she graduated, she had an ideal system of “standards”:
Find a good job, get a high salary, and buy a big house.
For this reason, I have been fighting for 6 years. Fortunately, I caught up with the company’s rising period. As the scale expanded from more than 20 people to more than 200 people, Li Jie also went from ordinary employees to department managers to design directors.
During the hard work, it is not necessary to say how many times to work overtime, it is out of the office at 4 or 5 in the morning, and Li Jie does not remember. What she remembered was the deserted street, the northerly wind, and slowly walked back to the rented house alone.
In the 7th year, Li Jie paid a 400,000 down payment and bought a suite, 100 flat. The company gave her a car, drove to work every day, and no longer had to go home after a cold wind.
The seemingly struggling goals have been achieved, and getting the keys to the new house just makes Li Jie happy for a few days. In the days that followed, she became a gyro, and she traveled regularly on a monthly basis. The house did not live for a few days, and she did not feel as big a sense of well-being.
In “The Wonderful Story”, the debater Zhan Qingyun has a special heartfelt words:
“In the financial industry, if you see a 40- to 50-year-old woman who is in a high-level position, you can guess that she is mostly single.
Because she is a girl, she can do that position, and in the past two decades, she certainly has no time to fall in love. ”
Busy to the feet, pushed by the inertia, what is my life to harvest? Li Jie is caught in a huge self-doubt and confusion.
04 Do two things when you are confused
Knowing that there is a problem, what should people do when they are confused?
The highest praise is very simple and very incisive: do two things, collect, put.
“Receiving is to stop all things that are not necessary, and to take time and energy back. Confusion is not something that can be done, but what is done is meaningless. If there is no meaning, it will stop.
Let go, let go of the horizon, let go of the burden, try new things, and meet new people. Get out of the comfort zone and let yourself see more possibilities. ”
Between closing and letting go, we might as well try to:
1. Practice trial and error, starting with things that are good at it.
Only love, can last. Doing anything, doing things is bitter. It makes us feel sweet because of the sense of accomplishment that things bring.
I am from the communications industry to the media, determined to write as a living. Although I was interested in words from an early age, “fanatic hobbies” are not enough to support me through hardships and sufferings. Every time I have a card, the word is poor, I can’t submit a manuscript, and I have to be crazy.
Only after I finished writing, looking at the presentation of the manuscript, getting the readers like it, and feeling the joy brought by the sense of accomplishment, is the motivation that I am willing to bite my teeth and die.
Like Lin Qiang, if you can’t find direction and positioning for the time being, don’t know what you want to do, you can try to do something good. Constantly groping and constantly trying to make mistakes. Build confidence, get good results, and form a virtuous circle.
Instead of thinking about how to get rid of the confusion, it is better to find something that makes you feel fulfilled and move.
2. Refresh self-awareness and control
Growth is a way to recognize yourself. People’s thinking psychology, personality temperament, etc. are dynamic and will change with growth and environmental changes.
The understanding of oneself cannot be simplified and stagnated. Just like a lot of interesting things at the time, maybe when the time comes, you will feel uninterested.
We also need to refresh regularly and continue to pay attention to ourselves and our hearts.
Li Jie is a person who clearly knows what he wants. When he is concerned about himself, it is better to think backwards and think about what is not wanted.
Just like refusing to eat rice, go home and learn English Han Xue; streamline the WeChat address book and delete Wang Han, who has a good friend. They have a clear “do not want anything” consciousness, refuse to be ineffective, and live according to their own wishes.
If you want to let go of your confusion and don’t want to be pushed by the tide of inertia, you have to have the courage to let go of your baggage. With the control of the top, you can keep the pace of life.
After understanding our inner needs and being comfortable, we will eventually change the direction of the tide.