I believe that in life, you must have such an experience.
Before going to bed at night, you pick up your phone and say to yourself, just play for a few minutes and the result is a few hours.
At the banquet, a friend advises you, you can’t refuse it, saying that you only have a drink. The result was a second cup, a third cup, and finally almost drunk.
You are shopping with friends and you are planning to buy nothing. As a result, the clerk recommended an eyebrow pencil to you, and finally you almost bought a whole set of cosmetics to go home.
A lot of things, like this, once you have the first breakthrough, the results will be out of control.
I have heard a story.
It is about a child who steals a thing for the first time when he was a child. He stole a needle. His mother felt that it was just a needle. He did not blame him.
Then there was his stealing again and again.
Later, he grew up stealing gold, was confined to the prison, and sentenced him to death.
He was crying at his mother on the execution ground: “If I steal the needle for the first time, you will punish me severely. I will not die today.”
As the saying goes, the embankment of a thousand miles is destroyed by the ant colony. If the original little temptation, small compromise, small faults did not attract our attention, in the end it will become the chief culprit to kill us.
As Milan Kundera said: “The first betrayal, irreparable cause more betrayal, as the chain reaction has made us farther and farther away from the original betrayal.”
People, once they let themselves go for the first time, there will be countless times in the future.
In life, many of us are talking about persistence, but there are very few people who really insist on it.
Why is that?
The writer Haruki Murakami started running in the fall of 1982, and today, how long has he persisted for decades?
People who have insisted on running will have encountered this situation: they are too busy today, don’t run; they are too tired today, they will run again tomorrow, they are in a bad mood today, they don’t want to run…
When you have the first excuses, let yourself give up, and in the end, you will often give up insisting on yourself.
But Haruki Murakami is different. He said: “Because you don’t want to run, you have to go running.”
Because he has never been “lazy”, he insisted on it to this day.
It is really difficult to insist on doing one thing and stick to the end.
Because we always have something we don’t want to do, we always give ourselves reasons to make ourselves comfortable and comfortable.
However, even if it is difficult to stick to one thing, don’t let yourself have the first thought of giving up; because it is given up once, the second time is easier.
Philip Sinbad, a psychologist at Stanford University in the United States, conducted an experiment in 1969.
He found two identical cars, parked one in the community of Palo Alto, California, and the other in the relatively messy New York Bronx.
The car parked in the Bronx, he took off the license plate, opened the ceiling, and was stolen the same day.
The one that was placed in Palo Alto was ignored for a week.
Later, Simbadu hammered the glass of the car with a hammer.
As a result, it only disappeared after a few hours.
Based on this experiment, political scientist Wilson and criminologist Karin proposed a “broken window effect” theory:
If a window breaks in a house, no one will fix it. After a while, other windows will be inexplicably broken.
If some graffiti appears on one wall and it is not cleaned up, the wall will soon be covered with messy things that are unsightly.
In a very clean place, people will be embarrassed to throw garbage; but once there is garbage on the ground, people will not hesitate to litter anywhere, and they are not ashamed.
This is the performance of the “broken window theory.”
Good people will try to protect it, and once a good thing has a bad mark, people will consciously let it become worse.
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Making a good thing worse is often caused by a seemingly small behavior.
Just like being late for the first time, not being punished, and then developing a habit of being late; for the first time, reducing the requirements for himself, and finally becoming undemanding for himself…
So don’t give yourself the first chance to let yourself go, don’t break your first window.